Divorce is hard. It is an emotionally charged process that can cloud judgment, leading to impulsive decisions with long-lasting legal and financial consequences. While you are trying to navigate the end of a relationship, the best strategy is to avoid actions that could sabotage your future.

Here is a guide on what NOT to do while going through a divorce, based on legal, financial, and personal advice.

1. Do Not Air Your Dirty Laundry On Social Media

In the age of social media, your online presence is a treasure trove of evidence for your spouse’s legal team.

• Don't rant about your spouse, the judge, or your lawyers.
• Don't post pictures of new, expensive purchases or lavish vacations, which can be used to argue you don’t need spousal support or to contest asset division.
• Don't post photos of partying, drugs, or alcohol, as these can negatively affect child custody decisions.
• Don't check in or tag your location, as this can be used to track your movements.

Rule of Thumb: Assume anything you post will be read in a courtroom. If in doubt, don't post.

2. Do Not Use Children as Pawns

Your children are not messengers, spies, or therapists.

• Don't put children in the middle of your conflicts.
• Don't ask your children to spy on your ex or carry messages.
• Don't badmouth your ex-spouse in front of your children, as this can affect your custodial rights.
• Don't bring new partners around your children before the divorce is final.
• Don’t use your children to send messages to your ex-spouse.

Rule of Thumb: Prioritize your children's well-being over your anger. Keep them out of the legal battle. Judges have little tolerance for children being put in the middle of this fight.

3. Do Not Act Impulsively With Your Finances

Hidden or wasted assets will only cause severe legal penalties later.

• Don't hide assets or income; this is fraud and can result in harsh penalties from the court.
• Don't empty joint bank accounts or close accounts without consulting your attorney.
• Don't make large, unnecessary purchases (like a new car or home) during a divorce.
• Don't forget to update beneficiary designations on life insurance, retirement accounts, and wills, but only after the divorce is complete.

Rule of Thumb: Be transparent and document everything.

4. Miscellaneous DON’TS During a Divorce

• Don’t proceed without an attorney. This can lead to longstanding consequences.
• Don't lie to your attorney. An attorney cannot defend you effectively if the attorney does not know the truth.
• Don't send angry, threatening, or "revenge" texts or emails to your spouse. These will be shown to a judge and are never helpful.
• Don't ignore court orders, even if you disagree with them. The judge is in charge, not you.
• Don't rush into a settlement just because you are exhausted and want it over. A bad settlement is forever.
• Don’t put any tracking device on your spouse’s vehicle, or children’s backpacks, etc. This is generally illegal.

Rule of Thumb: When you get ready to do something, always think “what would the judge say if he or she saw this.”

5. Things You Should Do During the Divorce Process

• Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help process emotions.
• Maintain healthy habits like eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising.
• Listen to your lawyer. The lawyer is on your side and knows the law.

Patton | Pittman has a team of divorce lawyers who are trained to help you navigate the divorce process.